is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
