Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
