He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
