There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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