Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
