oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
