That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
