speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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