dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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