I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize