umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
