So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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