id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
