Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How is your vagina???

  (941): View more from Florida

  Double booked

  (646): View more from New York

  With your butt?

  (941): View more from Florida

  Totes, candlesticks and all

  (646): View more from New York

  Yay!!

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  (646): How is your vagina??? (941): Double booked (646): With your butt? (941): Totes, candlesticks and all (646): Yay!! http://tfl.nu/9v3z
  Replies (4) Good night (1942) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina

  (214): View more from Texas

  i got awkward and finally asked him what he said

  (214): View more from Texas

  he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it

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  (214): so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina (214): i got awkward and finally asked him what he said (214): he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it http://tfl.nu/s46y
  Replies (26) Good night (973) Bad night (5107)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...

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  (765): looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present... http://tfl.nu/0z7b
  Replies (268) Good night (786) Bad night (6848)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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  (707): You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/2b7s
  Replies (6) Good night (4196) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.

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  (314): I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often. http://tfl.nu/x1ce
  Replies (7) Good night (3215) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.

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  (310): Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up. http://tfl.nu/lp2z
  Replies (8) Good night (2193) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.

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  (630): I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ha0p
  Replies (5) Good night (1646) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.

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  (402): We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever. http://tfl.nu/2k0u
  Replies (7) Good night (2529) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?

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  (850): My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans? (1-850): It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it? http://tfl.nu/e1h9
  Replies (5) Good night (1867) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.

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  (620): Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams. http://tfl.nu/9m3g
  Replies (7) Good night (1471) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.

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  (316): You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form. http://tfl.nu/cz7h
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"

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  (413): weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories" http://tfl.nu/0nvt
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.

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  (903): Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts. http://tfl.nu/fdo3
  Replies (8) Good night (1441) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.

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  (415): That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist. http://tfl.nu/yn2x
  Replies (12) Good night (330) Bad night (2301)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge

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  (907): Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge http://tfl.nu/scnb
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (265)

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