I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
