then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.