He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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