Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it