you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
