I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I won the penis lottery.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
