I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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