I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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