I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
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They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
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and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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