Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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