Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
