thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
