i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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