does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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