yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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