i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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