I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
