3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
