Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
