I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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