Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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