i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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