His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
