kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
