I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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