Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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