how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
