Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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