I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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