i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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