4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize