Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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