epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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