It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
