Me too!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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