i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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