508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
