I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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