I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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