I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize