whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally