You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.