just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
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I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
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Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF