I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.