I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Two words: blizzard sex
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
