I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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