I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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