I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
