i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
